The World of Relationships.

Well, I’ve officially been blogging for 4 years as of today. And I think that earns you a relationship blog. This week I feel like the relational guru. I think every person on the planet has decided that they need my help and advice on their relationships. I really don’t mind, because In all reality, I should have been a counselor. Having been awarded with a logical mind and tendency to hesitate, I am the ultimate picture of caution and evaluation when it comes to relationships.

I’ve developed a very interesting philosophy on the art of relationships in the past few years. I’m sure much to my parents dismay. I was raised in a house where Josh Harris was preached loud and clear. We Kissed Dating Goodbye. We Didn’t Meet the Boys or the Girls. We Didn’t Date the Church. We Didn’t Give Hints. And We Definitely Didn’t Have a Problem With S** (am I allowed to say that even with the stars?!?!?) or Lust For That Matter. And let me be heard. If I were to meet the man, I would punch him square in the nose. Then maybe in the gut. Because we have an epidemic in my family. An epidemic of to-marry-or-not-to-marry. ¬†Seriously. Ask every kid in my family, we all have this fear of dating or going out with someone because we are terrified of screwing up, or getting committed to the wrong person. We equate coffee to a marriage proposal, dinner to a long walk down the aisle and holding hands to the consummation of a marriage. Somewhere along the line, we decided that “dating” was a dirty word. And the act of dating was something to be ashamed of.

Now, let me be clear. I don’t date for the heck of it. I take relationships seriously. And I have no desire to mess around and get my heart slammed to the ground when it all ends. But I don’t see ended relationships as failure. In fact. I don’t really see anything as failure. Because at the end of the day. You heart wants what your heart wants. Whether it is in school or your career or in love. And One ended relationship is no reason to not try again. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaking break ups. But I don’t see those as failed relationships. I see them as opportunity to learn. To learn about myself, to learn about what I do and don’t want in a man, and to learn about how to deal with people. I see ended relationships as a crash course in how to be a good girlfriend and eventually, hopefully wife. Do I wish that I hadn’t had to walk through those horrible months, absolutely. Do I wish that I could take some things back and rewind the clock a little, definitely. But I wouldn’t trade any of my relationships for an untouched heart. Because I’ve learned so much.

I’ve learned that abuse comes in many forms.

I’ve learned that communication is key.

I’ve learned that a liar is always a liar.

I’ve learned that I really love quality time, and gifts will never make up for the lack thereof.

I’ve learned that men are intricate and emotional beings.

I’ve learned that having 5 brothers means I know very little of the world of me.

I’ve learned that I am worth being loved.

I’ve learned that sometimes, when you give up and play the stupid video game, that that is enough.

I’ve learned that men are men are men are men. And trying to make them perfect won’t happen. But I can love them even in their imperfections.

I’ve learned that movies make the worst first dates.

I’ve learned that at the end of the day. I want a best friend. Not a super hot date. Though, I have no problem with a super hot date who is my best friend.

I’ve learned that I just want to be loved for me.

So, my message here. Is quit freaking out about the small stuff. Quit seeing failure, and learn to embrace the lessons. Because we all screw up. It is inevitable. But it’s not a big deal…because there is grace for your mistakes as long as your heart is in the right place. There is grace for not doing it perfectly. So..try…because if you don’t try, you’ve got no right to complain about being single! The end.

…{stepping off my soapbox}…

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